Still under Lost Notes.......

Soliloquy





In my mind's eye,i have always viewed myself through other people's eyes...never before had i thought to examine myself through my own view-thats if i have one-I have dreamt tall dreams,achieved so little,and began to question the reason for my existence.In philosophical antiquity,the goal of every man in life is to achieve happiness in the end...Must i get to my end before i attain eternal happiness?My philosophy is that man should work towards making others happy because its only in so doing dat man can experience real happiness.The question of morality may not be all important in the determination of the outcome of a man's life.
When would i be what i want to be?When would i be able to do things to make other people happy in order to attain my own happiness?It is not enough to possess all and yet impact so little in the lives of others...I cant even remember when last i bought my parents gifts for being such good guardians......God willing i have got just 2yrs to go in my first hurdle towards greatness...the struggle has only just begun. I find that i am yet unready to face my ambitions...my mind is indeed not as sharp as i'd want it to be....i dont see any action of mine dat depicts any atom of future greatness....I am nothing but a lowly charlatan,who only wishes i knew what i wanted....this does not mean that i am devoid of aspirations; I have got so many that my calling eludes me....I guess one day when my soliloquy nears its end,i'd have discoverd my true purpose in vida.






Its my way of saying am speechless.....The words seem to av eluded me,and my mind is almost blank.Thats y am writing this note; that it may be said dat she tried,but the words just wouldnt come! I really dont know what else to do right now,i seem to have lost all options of relaxation,so this note seems to be the perfect escape.That i may not think so much that i begin to think rubbish,i write this note....I have never been in such a situation in ma recent years....I have discovered that i am losing focus.Must i live with this curse? Why didnt i come wiv d goats or fishes? Or better yet,the lion or the twins? Instead i chose to come wiv d scales! *scoffs* thats my greatest cross ever! I really love my person but then i hate it at times.....I cant even stand up to 'em trash talkers! I av lost my tongue cuz my heart is thinking for my head! Jeez! I need some kinda shock therapy...someone to slap my face and shake me so vigorously my head would spin! Must i continue to act like a lamb? To thread softly 4d fear of being trodden upon? Hmmm......suru laye gba! Na so dem talk,but i don do suru i don dey gba iwosi....hmmm